Every time Britain picks a fight with Europe it's the salad that suffers.
We are in the midst of a national salad crisis. Bootleg lettuce is now a thing. A dozen lettuce were recently put on sale on Gumtree for £50. Brexit and the subsequent (and predictable) collapse in Sterling has led to a national salad shortage. A hard Brexit could make things even worse, as the majority of our salad comes from the continent.
This is not the first time in our national history where a lack of salad has been a forewarning of bad relations with our continental friends. It is claimed Henry VIII's first wife Catharine of Aragon ordered a salad shortly after marrying Henry VIII. Her courtiers were sent the length and breadth of England and Wales and a year later returned to report that there was no salad in all the land.
Catherine ended up relying on Dutch importers to bring new salads to England, which in turn populised the revolutionary new concept of eating green leaves to the stodgy English. Yet, this trend was short lived as Catherine – abandoned by Henry – died in 1536, at the age of 51. That same year, Henry decided to take back control from the continental superpower by ordering the dissolution of the monasteries.