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The 11 Little Atoms things that can make a man fall hard for you

Other publications may tell you to give your man beer in the shower, or answer the door in a negligee when he calls, but here at Little Atoms, we know exactly what it takes to make that special guy swoon over and over again

1. Promise to help him retrieve the Golden Fleece, on condition he marries you and brings you back to Iolcos with him

2. Make him an unguent to protect him and his weapons from the fire-breathing oxen

3. Be sure to warn him to throw a rock into the ploughed field he has sown with dragon’s teeth which have somehow sprouted and turned into soldiers; hence causing them to fight among themselves while he makes his escape

4. Drug the sleepless dragon that guards the fleece (trust us on this one!)

5. Distract your father from pursuing your man by murdering your brother Absyrtus.(For extra sexy times, scatter your brother’s remains, forcing your father to retrieve them for a proper burial)

6. Cleanse yourself on the island of Circe (super-clean is super-hot)

7. Drug Talos the Bronze Man, causing him to remove the nail that seals his single vein shut and bleed to death.

8.On your return to Iolcos, make sure you draw the blood from your man’s ailing father, infuse it with herbs and inject it back in. Hey presto! Pop-in-law is good as new

9. Conspire to have Pelias’s own daughters kill him and chop him into little pieces by using elaborate magic involving a ram and some herbs (ALL guys go wild for elaborate magic featuring livestock)

10. Flee to Corinth

11. Give your man five sons  Alcimenes, Thessalus, Tisander, Mermeros and Pheres, and a daughter, Eriopis

That’s it! Men are pretty simple. Just follow these steps and enjoy a lifetime of love and loyalty

Now read Natalie Haynes' guide to Greek crisis classical references

Padraig Reidy is the editor of Little Atoms. He is Director of Editorial at 89up and has written and ghostwritten for The Evening Standard, The Guardian, The Observer, The Irish Times, The Daily Telegraph, The New Statesman, The Sun, and The Irish Post.

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